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Cartoons & Jokes
I hope you enjoy these cartoons and the jokes. I'll be adding jokes of my own as well as some more surprises in the days to come!
Here's an amazing site you won't want to miss!
Magic
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Here are some fractured Christmas songs as only a child
could do it!:
Deck the Halls with Buddy Holly
We three kings of porridge and tar
On the first day of Christmas my tulip gave to me
Later on we'll perspire as we dream by the fire
He's makin' a list, chicken and rice
Noel. Noel, Barney's the king of Israel
With the jelly toast proclaim
Olive, the other reindeer
Frosty the Snowman is a ferret elf, I say
Sleep in heavenly peas
In the meadow we can build a snowman, Then
pretend that he is sparse and brown
You'll go down in listerine
Oh what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap
and hay
O come froggy, faithful
You'll tell Carol,"Be a skunk, I require."
Good tidings we bring to you and your kid
The weary holiday traveller looked in disbelief at
a bunch of mistletoe hanging above the luggage check-in center......
Turning to the attendant he asked,"Ok, I give up. Why
is the mistletoe there above the luggage scale?"
"So you can kiss your luggage goodbye."
Why Women would love being Santa Claus:
1. You'd never be expected to make the coffee.
2. There'd be no more early morning decisions about what
to wear to the office.
3. You could grow a gut the size of Fat Albert's and
consider it a job requirement.
4. One big black belt.........accessorized for life!
5. There'd be no reason to have your colors done.
6. Everyone would be extremely nice to you, even if
you weren't.
7. Should people suggest your belly jiggled.......like a
bowlful of jelly, you could hit them with your purse.
8. You'd always work in sensible footwear.
9. There'd be no need to play office politics; a hearty
'Ho! 'Ho! 'Ho!, would remind everyone who is boss.
10. You wouldn't need an expensive briefcase.
11. No one would dare ask for a ride to work.
12. Never again have to wear pantyhose or worry about
your slip showing.
13. No more trips to the vending machine.....you'd just
snack on milk and cookies all day.
14. You'd never be asked to take an early retirement package.
15. Juggling work and family would be a breeze because your
children would adore you; even your teenagers would want
to sit in your lap.
16. You'd be guaranteed the best chair in the office.
17. Age discrimination wouldn't be an issue.
18. You'd never grab the wrong coat on your way out of
the office.
19. No one would ask to see your job description.
20. Your co-workers would be on notice that they'd
better not pout.
See how many words you can make out of Happy Holidays!
I found 51! If you find more let me know! Answers at the
bottom of the page. Don't Peek!!
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Answers I got:
1. happy
2.holidays
3. day
4. lid
5.hop
6. hoppy
7. hail
8. pad
9. had
10.lad
11. say
12. sap
13. lap
14. yap
15. sail
16. solid
17. shad
18. ship
19. slip
20. sad
21. hid
22. hay
23. soy
24. lay
25. holy
26. soil
27. pay
28. pail
29. hold
30. sold
31. dip
32. dippy
33. sip
34. hip
35. soap
36. dial
37. daily
38. shop
39. shod
40. salad
41. slap
42. sloppy
43. plod
44. plaid
45. paid
46. posh
47. slid
48. laid
49. said
50. halo
51. hash
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